Wilderness

June 27th, 2010

I could never compare our lives with the life of our Lord Jesus Christ and the suffering He has gone through because of His love for us.  When I read about the history that occurred in the Bible I try to  imagine myself being there and wondering what it would be like and what it was like.  Stories like Moses walking in the wilderness for 40 years.  David being among the Philistines and running from Saul being forced to live in the wilderness.  Elijah in the wilderness and the Lord providing for him.  Jesus being led into the wilderness in Matt Chapter 4.  My point is, we all have a wilderness and we all have the answer to our experience.  God!  I would like to share ours and the faithfulness of our Lord Jesus Christ.

A few weeks ago Aaron was informed by his mom that she had cancer of the breast, and a couple of weeks later I was informed that my mom was rushed to the hospital and had a blood transfusion and almost passed away..We were both grieving and crying out to the Lord and asking Him what we should do.  The very next day the Lord showed both Aaron and I the scripture about Jesus coming to Lazarus.  Jesus knew he had passed however He also knew that the family was hurting so He came to glorify God and to bring  joy to the grieving family.  He raised Lazarus from the dead and the family again had hope again in Him.  You see, Jesus himself was on the missions field and He was called to go for a little while to minister to hurting family but most importantly to glorify God.  At this point I knew what He wanted me to do.  I wanted to go to begin with but I needed His guidance first and foremost.

As Aaron and I were talking I shared with him what the Lord had shown me and immediately he said, “The Lord showed me the very same thing.”  So we booked our tickets and flew the very next day.  When we arrived I went to see my mom at the hospital…I couldn’t take the sight of my mother it hurt so much, so much that all I could do was to lay my head on her head and say a silent prayer and I talked to my dad who was right beside her for 6 days, exhausted and went to Aarons parents for a nights rest..I was so hurt  that my heart was in such pain.  Aaron felt the same way with his mom, a woman so gentle and so loving, he practically was held up with the Word and through prayer. Yes, we were weak but in our weakness the Lord made us strong.  Aaron and I went back and fourth to our families to make sure all was fine.  I with my mom and he with his and the kids stayed so strong but at the same time torn.  There were days of complete exhaustion because of worry, jet lag, mental and spiritual battles.

My wilderness:  Wanting to stay home, not following the call, being with my family period..I almost made up my mind..I am staying here I don’t care God there is no way I can leave my mom like this, what if I never see her again, what about my dad? The list goes on and on and on and on.  I started to rebel.  I went to bed on the 3rd night of our stay and I had the feeling of hatred in my heart, I lost hope and then a soft voice to me and said, “It will be okay for I am with you and I am with your mom.”  and I quickly remembered about Jesus and the rich man, the scripture that said seek the kingdom of heaven and everything else will be given to you, and I just remembered all the promises of God to us His children.  I quickly repented and asked the Lord for forgiveness and that was the day I knew that I need to be submissive to His calling on our family and I was filled with joy and excitement.  Well, I have to tell you the Lord is soooooo good and He shows His mercy each and every day over and over again.  My mom recovered and is doing so good. The Doctors got all the cancer out of Aarons mom Charlotte.  She had a 5 day mamosite treatment and killed all the cancer cells and so, she is cancer free and a survivor! We are now praying for emotional healing on both our families.  It is still hard for them that we are a ocean away.  I do have to tell you how good God is again..I went to moms one day and she is all about me staying home which doesn’t feel good when you hear the pain coming from a mothers heart let alone the rest of the family that really doesn’t support you but that day my mom looked at me and said in German…”You know Daniela, I know that you and Aaron gave up everything to go and I believe that God will give it back to you again and I am happy for you. :)”  I was so overjoyed to hear a blessing from my mom but this is the same blessing in the Word…Matthew 19:29. “and everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands for my name sake shall receive a hundred fold and inherit eternal life.”  God spoke through my mom and gave us His promise once again.. I have to tell you at first Aaron, the kids, and I were suffering…we were bashed with confusion, manipulation, weariness, anger, a mean every wave there was..(spiritual warfare) but we conquered it with the gentleness of Gods hand, His word, His faithfulness, His love, and the power of the Holy Spirit and only that, nothing else.

My point?  This..When we make a decision to follow God we will be persecuted and I am telling you the enemy has been around for a very long time and will use any and every tactic known to man and to the spiritual world.  Through these wildernesses we become stronger, closer, and more trusting in Him to be able to go out in His Name and in His power to glorify Him and Him alone.  Amen

I encourage you to read Matt chapter 5 when the storms are hard and to remember Philippians 1:6 in times of doubt. We love you all and we thank you all in our Lord Jesus.




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